Enough as I am.
“Enough as I am
Not when I have the perfect family
Or the perfect friends
Not when I have lost the weight
Not when I got the degree
Or the job
Not when I have the money
I am enough now.
I am more than the surface
I am more than the faults
I am more than the fears
I am enough now.
Perfection no longer in sight
A fire has been lit
My faith renewed
My soul is awake
Enough as I am.”
For as long as I can remember, my thought process has been “I’ll be happy when…” Happy when I graduated from pharmacy school, happy when I got married, when I had my kids, when my career was successful, when I learned something new. It has been so exhausting being in my head for the last twenty years.
Countless hours were spent planning life, and when it didn’t go according to plan, my setbacks felt enormous. Each time feeling like I was starting over. And now I’m in a place where there are so many changes, so much discomfort, so many unknowns. Essentially starting over. And I’m learning to trust the process, to trust God, and to trust myself.
I’ve always felt in my heart that I was destined for more, that I would help others in a way that I couldn’t yet describe. I feel as though that “more” is forming itself and I am seeing glimpses of what that may look like, but the big picture is still out of reach.
There are many things that have brought me to where I am now, where I’m learning to move forward in the midst of discomfort and chaos. Where I’m learning to listen to myself, trust my intuition, and pay attention to God’s whispers. I have so much to share in the coming weeks and months. I can’t wait to share a part of me that has been in hiding for years.